Let Her In
“Sam, you have to
tell her.”
“No, no, I really
don’t.”
“This has gone on
long enough and I can’t take it anymore.”
I don’t know what
your problem is. I have a job, I clean
up after myself, and I stay out of your way.”
“You’ve been
living in my apartment for six months!”
“Yeah… so?”
“So… you haven’t
given me a single cent! And Mom has no idea you’re in New York.”
“Whatever, Thomas. I’m your sister. I didn’t think I needed to give you anything or
that you’d care whether or not Mom knew I was here.”
“I mean, sure, in
the beginning… When I thought you were only going to be staying with me for a
month, two tops…”
“I don’t see what
the big deal is.”
“Okay, forget
about the money for a second. You need
to tell Mom the truth!”
“No.”
“Sam, she’s our
mom. She’s not going to say ‘I told you
so.’ She’s going to be thrilled that you’re home and that we’ve reconnected.”
“No, she’s going
to say ‘I told you you’d fail as an actress in LA and come crawling back.’ Then she’ll go into some rant about how dad
should have never paid for all my acting classes, blah blah blah…”
“You gotta give
her more credit than that.”
“Coming from the
child she always favored.”
“You’re so full of
it, Sam. Just give her a chance.”
“How do I even
begin to tell her?”
“You could say
something like ‘Hey, mom. Just wanted to let you know I’ve been living at
Thomas’s for the past six months. LA just wasn’t for me, but you’ll be happy to
know I’ve gotten a job for myself and am getting back on my feet. Would you like to have dinner with both of us
this week?’”
“I could probably
get through two words of that.”
“So write it down
first.”
“Alright, fine.
But can you give me like, ten minutes to get my shit together?”
“Ok, just promise
me you’ll call her.”
“Thomas, I’m not
ten years old. I’m gonna call her, Jesus
Christ.”
“I didn’t say you
were, though you do act like it sometimes…”
“Thomas!”
“Here, use my
phone. Her number’s programmed in.”
“Come back and
bother me in ten minutes.”
*
“Sorry, I stepped
out to get a sandwich. Did you call
her?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“We talked for like twenty
minutes. It was alright.”
“See? I told you. All that drama for nothing.”
“She wants to come over for dinner
tonight.”
“Did you tell her that’s fine with
me?”
“Yeah... I assumed it was. She said she’s coming over in an hour.”
“Fine by me. Perfect excuse to break out the Pinot
Grigio.”
“Well, I guess I’d better change
into something decent.”
“While you’re at it, how about we
talk about a monthly rent?”
“Oh, fuck off, Thomas.”
I like the changes you've made. The dialogue is so good in parts. Don't forget o give some of the background between the two of them, it doesn't have to be a ton. Yes he's the favourite but show it with a precise example. The ending is plot driven and takes us completely from the characters. Write out the scene of the mother at the door, the conversation between them and see what else is revealed.
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